without you

I can't imagine my life without you.

your heart

It gives me a smile everytime i look at "your heart".

Sifu !

I went to attend piano lesson like usual today. What's different is that today I had nice long chat with my teacher. We started off with his frustrations at work and the topic slowly evolves to his experience when he was in US for his educations.

terrell heritage museum

wollongong town hall pipe organ

He said, degree was tough, like real tough. He went there with an accompaniment schorlarship. Means besides his own studies, he have to play piano accompaniment for all the voice, violin, cello etc. students. And he often have performances, recitals, choir, band etc. And at the meantime his degree covers other subjects like literature, maths, foreign language etc. oh em geeeeeeeee. Degree in piano performance is already a level 8 tough thing, what about second instrument? He took pipe organ. For your info, pipe organ is a type of organ that people use to play in the church. 2 rows of keyboard (using the hands) and also a row underneath your feet. You play like octopus lah. With piano, pipe organ, band and accompaniments practices, assignments, lectures etc etc. During his (if not mistaken) third year of degree, he had tendonitis (swelling of the tendons) on his right hand. The hand was swollen and fingers turned purple with veins obviously seen. He then undergo an operation to untangle his veins because his veins are tangled up due to his too-intense practices for 11 hours practice.

I was like mouth wide open there listening.

Okay, now I know my degree programme is like real nothing compared to his'. Seriously although I get involved in choirs,performances, assignments, band, piano exams, vocal exams, church etc, it's really nothing compared to him. He went through hell. And see how I'm doing now. Not good. Not so very good.

He then continued with his masters and phD life. He said masters was fine. Relaxed and much input. But then phD was another hell. Five times more hell than the "hell" he went through. Tough diagnogsis exam to test his ability and see if he was suitable to get into the phD programme, any single weakness detected, he have to retake the particular course with the undergraduates. And that's just the beginning. then there's courseworks, at the end, finals was really the hell's hell. He have to just go though scores (like, 30 of them) and then talk about who is the possible composers and whatever they want to know. It's like having the music dictionary stuffed into your head. Library was his second home.
But he said, only US' programmes are so dahsyat (terrifying).

I've heard many experience talks from music people around me and this is the most dahsyat one.
I know this path will not gonna be easy to me. If it's God's will... ...

most beautiful

However what I really admire for this choir symposium
is when I see couples work together in Christ.

Some, the husband plays the piano and the wife conduct the choir
some other, both husband and wife work together, serving the Lord
and some other grandpa grandma would sing songs of praises in the choir together.

That's the most beautiful image of all.

永远有多远？

多希望这就是永远

永远，永远的永远。

Once upon a time

Where is my Happily Ever After?

我的心软。我的脆弱

人常常会软弱

偏偏我成为了自己最看不起的人

放心。没什么。我只看不起自己。

they say it's bad to sleep angry. whatever.

干嘛要让别人的情绪影响自己？！有病

why let other people's emotion influence myself? sick
because i care





i hate this feeling

Feeling down down down

Its Father's Day

But i'm still in some "cold war" with him. I feel so sorry, but I do not know how to express my apology.

I just hope he can understand. 

I'm still your foolish lil girl.

Tomorrow

Heard there's rumours saying that we will not get guaranteed posting after we graduate.

Well I told my mom about this.
My mom respond was : Good! Then you can come join my business.
Duhhhhh...

My point of view,
get prepared with knowledge and skills
get prepared with experiences.
Everything will fall into it's place.

Matthew 6.34. 34 'So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today.

感情经得起狂风暴雨，却经不起风平浪静

相爱容易，相处难啊...

朋友们，大家还是看着办吧！

不是我要的自己

你也许不是我要的你

我也许也不是我要的自己

一天一天

就是不觉得自己很成熟

我根本就不知道怎么去应对
也不知道自己在做什么

一天一天，只会越陷越深
到时又是伤痕累累 i suppose

我不知道未来是怎样的...

迟来的叛逆

明明就过了叛逆期的年龄

怎么我的心始终如此？

自卑

那天和朋友们玩
真心话。大冒险
时
有位同学突然告诉我，
她说有时会羡慕我

其实
我有什么好被你们羡慕的？
我又难搞，又骄傲，又自以为是
又不是说成绩最好
也不是最出色
也不是最漂亮

我觉得，
我才是最自卑的。


其实，我时常觉得自卑
我也常常 seek people's attention
我也需要你们的肯定 =(

可不可以

可不可以不要对我这么好？

我没有什么来回报你。

我只会伤你的心

美丽的笨女人

不管是再能干，再聪明的女生，

有时往往在感情上显得最笨

美丽的笨女人，我们要振作！

蜗牛

有没有试过曾经有一个人这么对你说
“你弹琴弹得不好听，换别人来弹好了”

有没有试过曾经有一个人给你一个眼神，
让你的自信完全消失？

或是一个失望的叹气？


我就是没有让他们打到，
越跌入谷底，我会越用力往上爬。



这些，都是很久很久以前的事了... ...

你不会知道

你应该不知到

我有好多好多好多话想跟你说

好多好多事想让你知道

可是我不知道怎么说... ...

对不起 =(

聆听

有些心事说出来了觉得很舒服 

有些心事又有谁愿意来聆听呢？ 

 谁是最佳聆听者？ 

 亲爱主，哦我的主 求你聆听我的心